A Rose Or A Blade Of Grass ?

One day I met a blade of grass and he was waving with happiness and joy. He was in the middle of a large garden full of bright & different colored roses. Everyone visiting the garden would look at the roses with a great sense of admiration and appreciate their beauty & would hardly take notice of the blade of grass. I also tumbled upon him, when I dropped my phone. Seeing him so happy and gay, I could not contain my curiosity and asked him “ How come you are so happy? You are not as beautiful as the rose and nobody is even noticing you? “His reply shook me for a while “My friend, I am happy because I am I. I have no intention of becoming a rose and I have no jealousy for the rose. He is HE & I am I. I am here to serve a purpose and I will give my 100% in doing so. I neither give a damn about what others think about me nor waste my time thinking about others.”

So very profound !!

That left me thinking hard – a simple blade of grass knew the simple mantra of happiness and here we human beings have been struggling since ages to find the source of happiness.

Since birth, we are subject to comparison – comparison with other babies with regards to complexion &  weight. As the child starts growing up, the comparison starts regarding his/her timing of speech and his/her first walk and thus begins the process of killing individuality and sapping of happiness.

“ Look at him , he studies so hard and gets good grades in class ;look at her she helps her Mom with her work and you give a damn ; she knits so well but you don’t take any interest in household work; he plays the guitar so well but you are always stuck with your computer “ and the list is endless and painful . We all have been subject to such comparisons and despite our horrible experiences, we subject our children to this torture.

We think that by comparing and quoting examples we are motivating our children and pushing them to do better in life. But in actuality, we are sowing a bad seed in their minds which will disturb them through out their lives. By doing so, we are killing their individuality and robbing the world of maybe another Einstein or an MSD or an Amitabh Bachchan or Walt Disney. Remember the famous movie “3 Idiots” – the entire movie runs around the central theme that every individual is unique in his own way & it is our duty to provide an environment to enable him to nurture his individuality and uniqueness.

Comparison in the early stages of childhood leads the child to develop an inferiority complex which in turn makes him weak & unconfident to face the world.Eventually, he starts following role models as thrust upon by his parents and makes wrong career choices. And thus, he will lead an unhappy life regretting “ What if he could go back in time and correct his mistakes ”. That is precisely the reason that we have so many unhappy people around us – caught in the web of unhappiness, trying to emulate what others are doing and trying to fit a circle in a square hole.

Each child is unique – nurture his uniqueness, give him space to blossom & let him be himself. Remember, we are human beings – the best creation of God & not some factory product where every unit has to be identical with the same functionality. Also beware , the comparison may also lead him to ask this question “ What if I were born to a better set of parents ”J. Knowingly or unknowingly whenever you compare your child with others, you push him far from yourself only to realise one day that your own child would want to run away from you .

Instead of comparing with others, push him to better himself with each passing day. Make him compete with himself every day, every moment. Find out what is he good at and help him excel in the same. Not everyone can become a doctor or an engineer & not everyone should. What would be the world without a painter, a musician, a dancer, a singer or a sportsperson? And the good part is that today’s world presents so many opportunities that talent can be nurtured and can be converted into a professional opportunity as well. There are so many & so different specializations available that the child can work towards giving right shape to his interests.

On a spiritual note – everyone has come to this world to traverse his own journey, live his own experiences & add his uniqueness to this world. If you try and push him to deviate from his path, you are only doing gross disrespect to God. Shiv is not the same as Vishnu & Vishnu is not the same as Brahma !! Respect & Love individuality !!

Let the blade of grass be a blade of grass and let the rose be a rose !!